Well maybe it's me, and my blind optimism to blame ..

for some reason, i cant get him out of my head .. you know, the one you're never going to have a shot with, yet there is something so perfect about him that you just can't say no .. he's just one of those people you look at and picture the 'perfect' future, but he doesn't see himself like that ..

yes, this would be the boy who goes to a different school .. let's call him .. PE .. don't ask haha .. we talked a little bit yesterday, and he said he's just been sooo crazy busy .. its understandable, he has a lot on his plate right now .. i told him that i texted him the other day, which i shouldn't have told him, considering it said, "I miss you." .. he told me that he has thousands of messages in his inbox .. i asked him what does he do then? how do his friends get ahold of him to do anything? he told me he responds to the ones that need responded to at the end of the day .. i joked with him and said, "You're just too popular." he said something like he didn't feel like it ..

i just cant get a grasp for him .. i cant understand him .. is that why i'm so drawn to him? on top of everything else? i was looking at pictures from the camp we both attend each summer, which is how we know each other, and just something about him just intrigues me .. i want to know more about him, i want to be good friends with him, i want to understand him .. and ya, maybe i'd like to see if it'd go any farther .. but i'm obviously the only one that feels thats way .. i said something yesterday like, "i wish we were closer" .. he said you mean distance? i said well ya, distance, but as friends, idk how to say it .. he didn't say anything back ..

i asked him if he was dating this girl that he was interested in when i went down to see him and he said no, he didnt mean for it to come off that way .. but he never really said anything .. so that's just it .. i AM the only one who wants us to be closer .. why is this bugging me so much? is it because he is unattainable? because i cant know him as well as i want to? because i can't know the situation? because i don't understand how he operates? it'd be different if he was just a typical asshole, but he is a genuinely good guy .. that's what draws me too him .. should i just give up? why do i even care so much? shouldn't i want someone who is just as interested or concerned about me? what's wrong with me then for him not to be that way?